Do you have a hard time saying no? This problem is more common than we think, especially for those who are empathetic or nurturing. We just hate the thought of hurting someone else’s feelings.
Sometimes you just need to say no to others, because if you answer yes to everything someone asks of you, it can make you feel like you being taken for granted. You cannot always live up to other people's expectations of you and must learn how to be assertive.
When you say no:
1. You get more respect. People who say no value their time and know how to distance themselves from the situations they do not want to be around. Saying no helps you establish healthy boundaries and enables others to have clarity about what they can expect from you. It’s important to be able to say no so you feel empowered while still maintaining your relationships with others.
2. You should not feel guilty whatsoever for saying no. You actually increase your energy, because you have more time to tend to your needs and wants. It does not mean you are a bad, rude or selfish person because you choose to value your time, opinion and just letting others know what your priorities are.
3. When you say no it gives you more time. If you were always saying yes to every single person who asked you to do something you would never get anything done yourself. You would be constantly doing everything that everyone else wants. This is no way to live. You need to do things that make you happy, living for yourself and not always living your life to please other people.
4. Empowers you.
For example, when someone asks you to go out or to help with something and you say you can’t, they ask why. Then you are stumbling around for an excuse that sounds good enough so that they will quit asking you to do something that you don’t want to do. What you need to realize is that it doesn’t make any difference why. You said no and that is all that matters. Stand behind your word. When they ask why you don’t need to give them an answer. Simply reply with because I said no, or because I choose not to. If they don’t like it then that is their problem, not yours. When you speak up for yourself, it makes you more confident and builds your self-esteem.
5.Reduces stress. If you have plenty of responsibilities and cannot do something for someone, saying no is a must. Do not feel guilty for not living up to others' expectations of you and say no firmly. Having too many responsibilities is not healthy for you and may put you at risk for illnesses you could have avoided by setting boundaries.
The word no is as powerful as the word yes. You need to make sure that your priorities are in the right order. Say yes to things that are right and true and say no to things that are wrong and false. For anything else, simply say how you feel. If you feel like doing such and such, then say yes. If you don’t feel like doing it, then say no. Remember that you don’t need to satisfy or impress anyone but yourself.
Remember that it is your life, and you can live it how you want to live it, within reason of course.
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